Someone to Live For
by cmartlover
Summary: River has been deeply hurt by the Doctor's tragic emotional state, and his unkind remarks make matters even worse. But, one simple, yet heartfelt action will give them both the strength they need to endure the inevitable. Spoilers: Series 6, ep.13


**Author's Note: I love this scene from the Wedding of River Song so much that i just had to write about it. It begins as River and the Doctor are climbing up the pyramid(a scene not shown in that episode). I confess that I used bits of the original dialogue(it seemed necessary), but the twist is that you get to see more from the Doctor and River's perspective, and really think about the Doctor's true motives in marrying River. I hope you enjoy it! Reviews are very much appreciated:)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who or take any credit for the original dialogue from "The Wedding of River Song"(which was written by Steven Moffat)**

***Note* - I have edited this since its original publishing, omitting words or phrases that were unnecessary, or too descriptive.**

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><p>A pair of pitch black heels scampered up the steep steps.<p>

Directly behind the curly haired woman was a raggedy man in a bow tie.

Though she vaguely recognized the sounds of gut wrenching screams that continued resounding from the base of the pyramid, River Song could not help but feel entrenched within an eerie aura of silence.

As she rhythmically maneuvered herself toward her destination, she found it extremely difficult to ignore the aching fear that had begun to ravage throughout her limbs.

No matter how much she wished to deny the looming terror that was seeping into her veins, the trembling motion of her slender hands and the rapid beating of her heart was evidence of the truth.

In a vain attempt to focus her attention on the matter at hand, the curly haired woman twisted her head slightly, her eyes glimpsing at the Doctor's soured expression.

His forehead had crinkled into tiny folds and his breaths were released in short, husky puffs.

The Doctor was angry. And that was never a good thing.

This sight caused further bursts of agony to swell from within River's heart, as she found it nearly unbearable to bear witness to his emotional state.

_And it's all my fault._

The Child of the TARDIS could not seem to shield herself from the doubts that had begun to surface. Not only did she feel a large amount of guilt for angering him, but she also was engrossed by a tantalizing dread, for she was well aware of his intentions.

He _wanted_ to die. He was going to force her to kill him.

_I can't do it. I won't. I can't kill the man I love. Not again. _Never_ again._

Even in the midst her desperation, deep within River's soul was a flicker of hope, which pulsated throughout her trembling body, serving as an unmistakable reminder that there was still a slim chance that she could save him. It was this glimmer of faith that willed the woman to continue upwards.

"We're nearly there. Not much longer now." River Song broke the silence between them, as if to lighten the mood.

The stubborn Doctor, however, remained intent on prolonging the quietness, for his lips fumbled only slightly, and his frigid eyes narrowed.

Normally the flirtatious archaeologist and the quirky time traveler would have been engaged in some sort of quarrel, but as the two veered towards the outer doorway, neither breathed a single word.

Within a matter of seconds, River and the Doctor succeeded in reaching the top of the ancient pyramid.

Because their surroundings had suddenly become more visible, River could more clearly read the Doctor's pained expression.

He finally spoke.

"What's this? Oh, it's a timey-wimey distress beacon. Who built this?" The Doctor rasped at last, the shaky sound of his voice causing River to feel especially vulnerable.

Instinctively, the curly haired woman hastily explained that she had constructed the beacon.

As he continued the conversation, River could not ignore the sense that the Doctor was scrutinizing her every move.

_I have to go about this cautiously. Otherwise, there's absolutely no chance that he'll listen to what I have to say._

Unfortunately, what seemed practical in River's mind was immediately suppressed by the emotions that blazed from within her heart.

"I've been sending out a message. A distress call. Outside the bubble of our time. The universe is still turning and I've sent a message everywhere. To the future and the past, the beginning and the end of everything. 'The Doctor is dying. Please, please help.'" The spontaneous words poured straight from her heart, her voice etched with desperation.

_Why does he have that awful look on his face?_

" River! River! This is ridiculous! That would mean nothing to anyone. It's insane. Worse, it's _stupid_! You _embarrass_ me."

The brutal remarks of the man she loved cut straight to the core. His eyes were dark—and cold, even. Scouring her every move.

The pain that followed was so intense that River probably would burst into tears at any moment.

Even after enduring so many long years of oppression and abuse, River Song had never felt so worthless throughout the entire coarse of her life as she did in that moment.

In one foul swoop the Doctor had unwittingly severed the last remaining hope that she had been clinging to.

Suddenly, her attention was temporarily shifted elsewhere, as her parents entered the scene.

Despite her better judgment, the woman with the wild curls remained motionless, her body seemingly paralyzed.

Only after her mother's incessant prodding did River muster up enough courage to speak.

Relaying the truth as concisely as she could, River pleaded for the Doctor to understand he had touched so many lives that there were numerous people willing to help him.

All he had ever needed to do was ask. It was the truth—the beautiful, simple truth. So why couldn't he see it?

At this, the Doctor's glossy eyes grew larger, as he tried to ignore her honest pleas.

"River, no one can help me. A fixed point has been altered. Time is disintegrating. "

Couldn't he understand that she _knew_ that? She wasn't as thick as he thought, believe it or not.

"I can't let you die—" River had long since stopped thinking rationally.

**"**But I have to die!" The man in the bow tie nearly yelped, his eyes glistening with tears.

"Shut up! I can't let you die, without knowing you are loved. By so many and so much. And by no one more than me."

Those last few words were possibly the most genuine syllables River Song had ever uttered.

She could scarcely believe she had actually admitted it, but then again, she was desperate to prevent his death.

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><p>Though he was in actuality safely shrouded within the Teselecta, the phenomenal sensors of the shape shifting robot allowed the Doctor to feel as if he was truly in his real body. It was a sort technology akin to virtual reality.<p>

He gazed beseechingly at the beautiful woman who stood before him.

A single droplet had tumbled down her cheek, causing the Doctor's insides to convulse.

His hearts were now thumping like mad. He couldn't speak. It was too much to take in.

And there she was, the mighty River Song, stubbornly refusing to kill him, her loving eyes rippling with tears. He should've seen this coming. Of course, she would do this. This was River bloody Song. It wasn't as if she hadn't done it before.

The memory of her death flooded his mind, increasing his guilt all the more. How was she really any different than him? He'd tried to take her place in the Library, just as unwilling to let het die, then as she was to let him die, now. And how many times had he claimed that 'time could be rewritten,' in the same way she had on that beach? What a hypocrite he was.

But this wasn't the time for self-deprication, whether it was true or not, it didn't matter- he needed to focus on the issue at hand, even if it meant he had to start begging.

"River, you and I, we know what this means. _We_ are ground zero of an explosion that will engulf all reality. Billions and billions will _suffer _and_ die_."

_How else can I make her understand? I have to do this, it's the only way. _

"I'll suffer… if I have to kill you."

The tiny tears continued to cascade down her cheeks. His hearts crumbled.

"More than everything living thing in the universe?" He was practically wailing now, his eyes filled with disbelief.

"Yes."

It was astonishing how one, simple word could communicate a message greater than a thousand ever could.

The Doctor could feel the blood rushing to his face, as his mind was compressed by an undeniable realization.

River Song- Melody Pond- the daughter of his two best friends- the woman who had been bred to murder him since birth and had sacrificed her remaining regenerations to resurrect an undeserving old man, loved him in the deepest, most indescribable manner.

His blurry vision fell upon the ground, as he resisted the urge to allow the ever present sobs to devour his limbs.

Awkwardly shifting his body away from River, the raggedy man felt the oddest sensation pulsate through his hearts, and desperately hoped that the woman who had taken his breath away was oblivious to the crimson blush that had seeped into his cheeks.

Although this remarkable, loyal, and wonderful woman had caused him to feel this way in the past, at that point in time he was suddenly aware of the fact that River's stubborn love and affection for him was not in any way idiotic or one-sided.

It was mutual.

For that very reason, the Doctor found himself acting on his instincts, doing what seeming the only logical thing to do.

The Last of the Time Lords was going to marry the woman he loved.

"Amy, un-cuff me, now."

His weathered hands scrambled out of the metal shackles that had fettered his wrists, and his body turned back towards the gorgeous woman with the wild curls.

Following a brief period of confusion, the Doctor gathered himself together and gently wrapped the small cloth of his bow tie around his wrist, before commanding River to grasp the other end and take heed to his instruction.

"What am I doing?" Even the inquisitive River Song was befuddled by his actions.

"As you're told. Now. In the middle of a combat zone so we'll have to do the quick version. Captain Williams, say, 'I consent and gladly give,'" The Doctor seemed to mutter a bit shakily, his eyes glancing in the direction of a relatively clueless Rory Williams.

"To what?" The former centurion furrowed his brow in question, which only increased the Doctor's nervousness. As if he wasn't already enough of a mess!

"Just say it! Please." Not only was time literally running out, but truth be told, the man and the bow tie was a bit elusive for other reasons, unbeknownst to anyone but himself.

"I consent and gladly give." Though loyal Rory repeated the Doctor's words with haste, he had only a vague concept of what he was saying.

The Last Centurion was granting permission for his daughter to marry his best friend in a sacred ceremony that was as old and as binding as time itself.

"I need you to say it too… mother of the bride."

Watching as River's sparkling eyes brightened, the Doctor eagerly anticipated the red head's response.

"I consent and gladly give." With that, and according to the ancient law of his own people, the man in the bow tie and his curly haired counterpart were as one in holy matrimony.

This action may have been somewhat spontaneous, but that in no way denoted its significance.

Marrying River Song hadn't exactly been part of the Doctor's original plan, nor had it been something that was necessary to save the universe.

The fact was that the lonely traveler had honestly wedded the devoted woman on his own accord, knowing full well that it would be a beautiful moment that neither would ever forget, which entailed that it was a true marriage, enduring past even the looming barriers of the disintegration of time itself.

He hadn't simply done this for River's benefit, but the Doctor had committed this act of matrimony in a way to provide his soul with the strength it needed to continue on.

Carefully leaning down toward his wife's ear, the Doctor softly whispered four short words of unspeakable comfort.

His hearts swelled with a mixture of pride and relief as the clever River Song, a lovely smile crinkling across her face, realized that he was perfectly safe within a certain shape shifting robot, his beloved blue box nestling from close behind.

In all honesty, he wondered why he had waited so long to reveal the truth. He wasn't actually going to die at all! If he'd just told her that in the first place, none of this would have happened. But then again, maybe it was better this way.

"Now. There you go. River Song. Melody Pond. You're the woman who married me. And wife, I have a request. This world is dying and it's my fault. And I can't bear it another day. Please, help me. There isn't another way."

In all his nine hundred plus years of living the Doctor supposed he had never declared such an astounding proclamation.

Gazing upon his breathtaking wife with a loving intensity and hinted urgency, the raggedy man silently lobbied for the sake of the dying world that she had created for _his_ sake.

"Then you may kiss the bride." Her sorrowful irises began to glow as a burst of color arose in her cheeks.

"I'll make it a good one." The flustered Doctor bent closer, his thumping hearts burning with desire.

"You better." The curly haired woman responded in her typical fashion, before pressing her lips against his.

Although the Doctor's recently miniaturized lips were not technically brushing against hers, the innovative nerve attachments connecting him to his Teselecta body allowed him to savor the embrace as if it were completely natural.

He was kissing River—his _wife_—Amy and Rory's daughter—it couldn't get much better than that.

Soon after the glowing warmth had begun to radiate throughout his body, the man in the bow tie witnessed the blinding sight of a luminescent flash of light.

Quietly folding his eyelids shut, the Doctor breathed in very deeply, as if in preparation for the horrifying event that he had long dreaded.

But the former fear had dissipated, not simply due to the fact that his life was secure, but because out of all the incredible wonders of the universe, the Doctor could trully say he had someone to live for.

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><p><strong>Note:Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this story, you should check out my profile and read some of my other Doctor Who fictions, including other 11River fics(not based so closely on an episode). Please take this time to leave a review.**

**Have an awesome day!**


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